Her kindergarten and your identity
His youngest shyly points at you and asks you to read to her kindergarten class. Two days before the event: She’ll change her mind and ask her mom to read it, or her mom will change it for her. You...
View ArticleThe curse of the evil eye protector
I had bought an evil eye symbol for my partner. When the kids saw it, they asked me to explain what it was. “It’s a protective symbol. It takes away other people’s jealousy and envy of you.“ After we...
View ArticleThe Truth About Tiny humans and the Mystery of Spinach
Parenting, at least step parenting, is customer service. Food will be sent back to the kitchen, clothes and shoes will be returned (even when they participate in it), and no matter what you buy, there...
View ArticleHow can waking up be so complicated?
H (age 9), sweetly: “BB, will you wake me up for school tomorrow?” Me: “Of course.” H: “So the way my mom does it…” Me: Growling inside, am ready to get up and go. But I’m supposed to be the grown up...
View ArticleShall we Shag now or Shag later?
One night as we were putting the girls to bed, his 9 year old who usually wakes up early said: “When do I come to your room to snuggle?” She doesn’t typically ask questions about snuggle time, except...
View ArticleBecause They are Balls!
Each week on Friday we review the girls’ Friday Folders, which contains their week’s work. Last week’s homework reflected the kindergarteners’ travel to Antarctica. We saw pictures of penguins and...
View ArticleWho Do You Live With
Me: “Good morning family.” 6 year old child, running towards me: Bee Beeeeeee……huggieees. I lift her up, give her a hug, kiss her cheek, hear my mom (who’s visiting) say her aws, then put her down....
View ArticleIt’s The TV’s Fault
Boom, a thundery sound blasted from the TV. I hissed at the grow-ups who were watching Inception and they lowered the volume but it was too late. The 6-year-old’s, whose room sits above the TV, woke...
View ArticleRule Number One…
“I see bugs,” I tell him. “What?” “Well I do. I’m that good. I see germs crawling all over your hands and the kids’ too.” He smirks, and writes down wash hands. We recently moved in together and on...
View ArticleSeize the Moment. Call 911.
I left his six-year-old with my parents for an hour. By the time I came home, she was showered and screeching about the movie Atlantis. They left her with me for an hour. While they were gone, we...
View ArticleShut up and Kiss Me
After reading Disney stories to the six-year-old for the second night in a row, I finally lost my patience (specifically with the Little Mermaid) and figured this could be a teaching moment. “I don’t...
View ArticleThe Sheer Blindfold
I came home to my partner and his kids after yoga. A dreary silence hovered in the house, loaded with tension. He had had a rough time with the girls bickering since he picked them up from school. His...
View ArticleNo Means Yes (On Spring Break)
On the way back from Disneyland, the adults were suffering from kid overdose. The kids just wanted to get home. We had a five-hour drive ahead of us. Dad gave them his computer so they could watch a...
View ArticleHigh Heels and A Long Kiss
When her sister was in the hospital (for her appendectomy), the 6 year-old stayed with me while dad spent the night at the hospital. She was extremely understanding and well-behaved. So, in a moment of...
View ArticleMotivation Monday
Dear Stepmoms and stepdads. This is dedicated to you. Keep up the good work. “Although the divorce rate for remarriages with children is dramatically higher than that for remarriages without children...
View ArticleWhat am I, a Ghost?
When I heard the garage door, I came out of the bedroom. The two of them, back from dance class, ran to greet me. “BBeeeee,” “girrrrrls,” and hugs ensued. “I have something to tell you,” exclaimed H1....
View ArticleMean Bonus Mom Melts
Some time ago, we had received an email from the kindergarten teacher about an in-class Mother’s/Father’s day celebration. The kids were putting on a show for them. It had asked if there were other...
View ArticleThe Sex Scene
We had just finished lunch. The kids were quietly playing in the TV room. Since we were scheduled to travel the next day, I started doing laundry. In general, I find housework, including its...
View ArticleTic, Tac, Tic Tac, Boom.
I was visiting my brother, excited to spend some time with my little niece, who is six. We have a special bond together. Plus, because of the girls I feel more confident taking care of T (ehem, I can...
View ArticleThe Graphic Step…Bonusmom
The girls spent the day before my birthday at our house. When I arrived home from my activity of the day, H1 ran to the garage and warned me not to look at what she was doing. She was hard at work on...
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